Harrowing
Thursday, July 12, 2007

I have entered a season of reflection on this past year and my life before it, as I decide what to do next year. This is a time of prayer; of listening to God and listening to my life.

In the midst of it all I found this treasure of a poem in a small book recommended to me by a friend. I like it because it speaks to my present condition and offers hope to those seeking renewal and direction after a long, hard year.








HARROWING
The plow has savaged this sweet field
Misshapen clods of earth kicked up
Rocks and twisted roots exposed to view
Last year's growth demolished by the blade.
I have plowed my life this way
Turned over a whole history
Looking for the roots of what went wrong
Until my face is ravaged, furrowed, scarred.

Enough. The job is done.
Whatever's been uprooted, let it be
Seedbed for the growing that's to come.
I plowed to unearth last year's reasons-

The farmer plows to plant a greening season.
from Let Your Life Speak, by Parker J. Palmer

Posted by Benjamin Washam 7:25 PM 1 comments  

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What Are We Inviting People Into?
Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I often wonder what we are inviting people into when we invite them to live for Jesus Christ. In a sense, we are inviting them first into our own lives as individuals and communities. Do we invite them into a kingdom of guilt-driven, over-committed, stressed, distracted, busybodies? This is the typical picture I have of people involved in full-time ministry, and it is a tragic picture. It seems than in many Christian circles, burnout has become an accepted side-effect of ministry, even a battle scar worn proudly by those who have learned to burn the candle at both ends. This too, is tragic.

One of the main differences in being a part of an order like InnerCHANGE as opposed to a missions agency or organization is that our people (interns, apprentices, staff, etc.) are more valuable to us than the task. In other words, the spiritual and personal formation that is taking place in each of us in the long run is as important as the "work" itself. This is a value that I have seen modeled over and over again throughout my life with InnerCHANGE. My spiritual, physical, and emotional health are not simply private matters that I am personally responsible to care for outside of, and top of my regular ministry.

Is it possible to minister out of fullness? Is is permissible to build into our ministry schedules times of solitude and prayer? Is it profitable to invest as much time in our own spiritual formation as we give to others? Is a sabbath worth what it costs? For the sake of those who must look to us to see the kingdom of God, I pray the answer is yes.

Lord Jesus Christ, make our communities and lives into winsome parables. May we demonstrate the reality of the peaceable kingdom you said was near at hand. Keep us from trusting in hurry and success rather than in your Spirit "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." John 3:8

Posted by Benjamin Washam 12:48 AM 2 comments  

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Dancing With Dirty Dan

Dan is a short middle-aged man with a large mustache who used to race cars in his younger days. Dan has also been addicted to crack for many, many years. He lives behind me in a house that has become a haven for drug dealers and prostitutes. His house is a real problem in the neighborhood because people are always stopping by for drugs, and younger girls are showing up each week. The police have a huge file on Dan, but nothing has been done to shut the place down yet. So many 911 calls have been made about his place that the police simply refer to him as "Dirty Dan."

If this were the end of the story on Dan it would be nothing new - you read about a 'dan' every day in the newspaper; you see him on TV; maybe you've met a few of them. But the amazing part, the part that requires new eyes to see, is that this isn't the end of the story. You see, Dirty Dan has another name; a name that he himself does not even know. This is the new name that God is prepared to give Dan and everyone else who repents and perseveres. Is Dan rightly labeled and condemned by his actions? Yes, and so were we. I was Selfish Benjamin, and along with Arrogant Andy, Money-Loving Mary, and Violent Vince, we were all in the same shoes with Dirty Dan before the kindness of God brought us to repentance.

Here is where the story takes a turn: the house next to Dan has recently been occupied and renovated by a Christian family further down the block. Two young Christian men have moved in and are reaching out to Dan. We have started meeting together each week to pray for the neighborhood, and especially for Dan and the dealers and prostitutes that they would be shut down, but at the same time that they would meet Jesus in a powerful way. We pray that the power of evil in that house will be destroyed, but also that God would reveal to Dan and his friends the reason why they were created - to worship God and enjoy life with him.

It was during one of these prayer times a line was spoken that has shaken me to the core, and has altered the way I look at other people.

"Lord, when we get to heaven we want to be dancing with Dan."

Posted by Benjamin Washam 12:04 AM 0 comments  

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Balogna Beats and Lunchroom Rappers
Thursday, June 07, 2007

I laughed so hard at lunch today I almost choked on my sandwich.

It all started when I was sitting with the 4th grade class of Hope Academy in the cafeteria. The class is only 11 kids, so we easily fit around one large lunch table. On a normal day these lively 10 year olds make enough noise to rival a freeway and carry on enough lunch food trading to give Wall Street a run for their bologna.

At some point after a slight lull in the cafeteria noise, as if on cue, Daniel starts beat-boxing like a madman, spraying saliva all over his, and his friends' lunches. Elijah is sitting next to me and adds his own beat and background rapper commentary. As soon as these two get going, Collin runs around from the other side of the table and starts freestyle rapping behind them like his life depends on it. (Not before taking a few deep whiffs out of an empty Lay's chip bag for added effect.)

Now the whole table is getting into it, jumping and swaying. Even the girls who usually just roll their eyes at the boys' antics join in. I glance over at Shanna, the teacher, and we just smile and shake our heads at what we are letting happen in the lunchroom. Tomorrow is their last day of school, so we let the dam burst. Just when the frenzy of energy is reaching it's crescendo, Marqeece finds an open slab of floor by the table and starts attempting to break dance. I throw in a couple of turntable scratches as Collin finishes up his fourth verse, something about walking down the street in the hood and other mostly unintelligible yet rhyming lines.

And just as soon as it started, it is over - the first ever 10 year old hip-hop show in Minneapolis, and I'm rolling on the floor laughing.

Posted by Benjamin Washam 6:20 PM 4 comments  

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Back in God's Country
Sunday, May 20, 2007



















One of the reasons I've taken so long to post is that I've been out of internet contact for most of the last two weeks. I finally was able to get home to Washington for a visit with family and my home church. I hadn't been home since August, so it was long overdue!

The first week I went on a backpacking trip with my sister and cousins in the Columbia Gorge National Scenic Area/Mt. Hood Wilderness Area. It was a four day, 42 mile loop starting at sea level on the Columbia River and taking us up to almost 5500 feet. We were blessed with four straight days of blue skies and 70 degree days, an anomoly in that part of Oregon! At one point on Shinadere Mountain I could look north and see Mt. Ranier, Mt. Adams, and Mt. St. Helens in Washington, then turn around and see Mt. Hood, Mt. Jefferson, and the peak of the tallest of the Three Sisters in Oregon. Six Pacific Northwest Volcanoes in one breath - that floored me.

After the trip I headed up to Camp Ghormley to hang out with my family (last picture) for the week and share in my home church about my apprenticeship here in Minneapolis.

To see more backpacking photos, visit here.


























Posted by Benjamin Washam 2:18 PM 3 comments  

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A New Job and Ministry Opportunity!

God has provided a fantastic job at just the right time! Two weeks ago I was really frustrated with the way my meter reading job was going, and started asking God to lead me to a new part time job that would allow me to invest in peoples lives, not just bill them for their electricity use. Soon after, a friend called me from Hope Academy, a Christian K-8 school right in my neighborhood. She told me that a certain 10 year old boy needed a helper to accompany him throughout the school day, and I was their first choice!

Hope Academy is really an amazing school that offers an impressive classical education and a Christian environment. They are sponsored by so many donors, that a family from my neighborhood can pay as little as $50 a month for this!

I basically have the opportunity to do one-on-one discipleship with this boy every school day. I sit next to him in class, go to lunch, recess, art, and gym class with him! I help him stay focused on his work, and when he gets upset or has a meltdown, I am there to take him out on a walk or to the library to continue working.

Praise God for this provision, and for the opportunity for this boy to have a male in his life that will invest in him! Please pray that I would have wisdom and patience with him, and that God would use this relationship to bring healing in his life, and in the life of his (my) classmates. :-)

Posted by Benjamin Washam 1:57 PM 2 comments  

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I Got A Car! (a.k.a. Cruze Wit Me)
Thursday, April 26, 2007


Remember how my Jeep broke down about 6 weeks ago, and I didn't have any money to buy another vehicle? Well, someone donated their old ride to a Christian organization that knew I needed a car - and they sold it to me for one dollar! (That was at the upper end of my price range.)

I went to check out the vehicle, half expecting an ancient, rusted out Corolla with dog hair everywhere. Instead, I found a snazzy '95 Suzuki Sidekick in full working order (sans speedometer/odometer) with great gas mileage and four-wheel drive!

Thank you to all of you who have been praying that God would provide a car for me! I'll be honest - I had half given up hope and resigned myself to borrowing cars every week for work when I got a phone call out of the blue with this vehicle!

If anyone is near the Twin Cities give me a holla and we can go for a cruise in it (crankin' up the tape deck with Dolby noise reduction and bumpin' it with my 3 1/2 inch paper woofers). No doubt.

Posted by Benjamin Washam 9:40 PM 8 comments  

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Arroz Con Pollo and Tabouleh
Sunday, April 22, 2007










Every Monday morning the InnerCHANGE Minneapolis team get together to pray, worship, share communion, discuss articles, reflect on our weeks, and of course, HANG OUT! We rotate meeting at different people's houses, and this month has been at my place. The host has the pleasure of fixing a tasty lunch each week.

I started off with a Venezuelan arepa feast the first week, followed by the more Minnesotan crock-pot beef and vegetable stew. This week I'm using an arroz con pollo recipe from my neighbor downstairs and also throwing together a nice cold tabouleh salad for a Venezuelan/Mediterannean Fusion! Let me know if you want the recipes for any of these, in case you're hungry!

Posted by Benjamin Washam 4:31 PM 2 comments  



Mississippi Adventure

I've had a crazy idea in my head for the last couple of weeks. It is one of those ideas that comes from deep inside a person where it is hard to trace the roots; an idea rarely accompanied by a practical plan to execute it.

The idea is this: to float down the Mississippi river from the headwaters here in Minnesota at Lake Itasca to the Gulf of Mexico at New Orleans in a raft or canoe like Huckleberry Finn and Jim. I don't know where the inspiration came from. Perhaps this "father of all rivers" for America that flows through Minneapolis just over a mile from my house has been calling to me for an adventure. Or at least telling me to come up with an adventure of my own. I've ordered every Mississippi River journey book I can find at the library, the two best being River Journey by Clarence Jonk (1933) and Mississippi Solo by Eddy L. Harris (1988). Eddy sums up my feelings in his introduction to his river journal:

Once they have reached a certain age, dreamers are no longer held in high esteem. They are ridiculed instead, called loony and lazy, even by their friends. Especially by their friends!

Dreams are delicate and made of gossamer. They hang lightly on breezes and suspend as if from nothing. The slightest wind can tear them apart. My dream was buffeted by my friends. What the hell for? they asked me. What are you trying to prove? Why don't you just go over Niagara Falls in a barrel?

...Putting a canoe into the headwaters of the Mississippi and aiming it for New Orleans is not something a man is supposed to do. It is not considered normal or sane. Perhaps it is the danger involved, or perhaps it it too much an act of desire and determination, an act of passion and volition, or simply too out of the ordinary.

For whatever reasons, my idea met with disapproval, and instead of childish jubilation I approached conoeing the river with doubt and sorrow - sorrow because the glory with which I first came upon this adventure was dashed by friends. Like Galileo before the Church, I was ready to relinquish my radical approaches and be normal.

But this dream of mine, still suspended on the breeze and delicate as ever, was just as real as those flimsy summer spider webs hanging in the air, and just as clinging. Once the webs attach themselves to you they are hard to get rid of. And so it was with my desire to ride the river.

I doubt I will ever float down the length of the Mississippi, but what other gossomer calling is attatched to my life? I intend to find out.

Posted by Benjamin Washam 11:40 AM 5 comments  

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Keepin' It Real, Keepin' It Fresh
Wednesday, April 11, 2007


The blog had a big facelift today in hopeful preparation for the funkiness of spring to come. Right now there is two inches on snow on the ground and it is still falling fast, but I've decided to deny the obvious and believe that warm weather is right around the corner.

Posted by Benjamin Washam 10:24 PM 1 comments  



Dog Attack!!!!!!!!!

As many of you know, I work part time as a utility meter reader to help pay the bills. Dog attacks are the number one occupational hazard for meter readers, and up until yesterday, I had been fortunate enough to avoid them!

On Tuesday I was out working in Ramsey, right on the border where suburb turns into "the country." Most people had a sizeable parcel of land with their house, and most of the houses had dogs; big ones; multiple ones. For some reason this neighborhood also liked to keep their dogs outside, untied, and all the kennel doors open!

Early in the day I approached the back side of a house looking for the electric meter. I saw the back garage door slightly ajar, and before I could think twice, two large golden colored dogs came out of it and were tearing across the property towards me with the hair on the back raised, barking like mad. I froze for a split second and then started running backwards, remembering not to turn my back on an aggressive dog. The dog in the lead ran straight towards me and was lunging at me, so I put up foot to block the teeth, but that only made me flip over backwards. Somehow in the shock and adrenaline rush of it all I ended up doing a sort of backflip/summersault and landed on my feet with my pepper spray in hand, ready to fire. After my unplanned acrobatics the dogs continued to bark but kept a slight distance, so I spared them a painful spray in the face, though I really wanted to do it. I was able to back up all the way to my car, but not before two other large dogs from the neighbors came running over to join in the barking assault.

Let's just say I was a little jumpy the rest of the day whenever I heard anything that sounded like a dog coming (a LOT of things sound like a dog coming when you've just been attacked by some) and I really wanted to go home, but knew I should probably finish the day of work. I had several other encounters that day, including an owner letting her huge dobermine pincher out into the back yard with me! (She hadn't seen me enter the yard.)

That was probably my worst day on the job so far. Something else you can pray for - safety on the job!

Posted by Benjamin Washam 10:03 PM 2 comments  

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Where Do They Keep All The Children During Winter?
Monday, March 26, 2007

Today the dam broke - as the thermometer passed 70 degrees for the first time this year, the gates of people's winter hibernation chambers (homes) opened and overflowed into the streets, populating the neighborhood. The car I've been borrowing was unavailable today, so I ended up walking everywhere. A week ago my street was practically deserted all day, now it seemed every other house had a group of people sitting on the front porch relaxing, most with a radio blaring. One house would be pumping B93 rap hits, and the next would echo back with the oompapa-oompa of Mexican rigaton, only to be followed by classic rock in the next.

The biggest surprise for me was the sheer number of children! I hardly saw any all winter, and wondered how they could all have been contained inside when now the streets are filled with their shouting and laughter! There are at least 25 kids just outside the houses around me, and the trend continues down the block.

It is now that the incredible diversity and tension of the neighborhood becomes obvious. Because of the historic housing shortage in this area, ethnic groups are forced to spread out to wherever housing is available, preventing the usual ethnic neighborhoods and pockets from forming like they do in most other large cities. An American Indian family on my left, a Mexican family on my right, a well-to-do Caucasian family beside them, a Venezuelan family below me, and an African American family across from me! Welcome to Phillips Neighborhood, and to the summer months to come!

Posted by Benjamin Washam 9:46 PM 2 comments  

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